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Doubt ... or Contrast?
September 21, 2004
I was sidelined yesterday by the Assignment from H-E-double-hockey-sticks, as my husband would say. Found myself gnashing my teeth at 2:30 a.m., fuming at the world in general and my freelance career in particular. Even shot off an email to the editor in charge. Yes. I was upset.
This really isn't me. Usually I'm a "glass is half-full" kind of person. But yesterday it all got to me. It was a combination of fatigue and "you've got to be kidding me", I think. I went to bed exhausted and still fuming, and when I woke up, doubt started creeping in.
Doubt's such an ugly insidious thing. It can start small and grow to incredible proportions. I usually don't doubt myself very much, but have you noticed how, when you're not feeling that great about something, you start feeling not so great about other things as well?
I'm a big fan of the Law of Attraction - feel good about things, and you attract more of the same. Feel bad? You got it ...
Only ... I haven't been feeling bad. I've been feeling quite good these past few weeks. Work has been going very well, and the budget for the holidays is shaping up nicely. And this blog has been motivating me to actually start taking action and do the things I want to do.
So, how did I end up where I was yesterday? Fuming and so angry at myself and my work in general?
According to Abraham-Hicks, when you experience something in your life that's negative, you need to look at it as contrast. Without contrast, how would you ever know what you truly wanted out of life? Contrast allows you to set goals and dream those big dreams.
So I'm sitting back now - just emailed that last assignment and it is now truly off my desk - and trying hard to put yesterday in perspective. Contrast, rather than doubt.
Okay. At least now I'm pretty sure about what I don't want!
I'm off to Wordtracker tonight, so hopefully I'll be able to post another progress report.
-BJ
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Posted by BJ at 06:43 PM in Life | Permalink
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